How to overcome imposter syndrome
Feeling like a fraud?
Co-founder of the Lowdown, Karmjit Kaur walks you through imposter syndrome and 5 top tips to overcome it.
“No matter how much I do and achieve, I don’t feel I’m good enough or deserve the position I have”.
Most of us have heard so many people say something along these lines.
Imposter syndrome is about doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud in the workplace (and often in other areas of your life). You find it hard to accept and celebrate your achievements and question whether you're worthy of praise and progression.
While we all feel like this at some point in our lives, imposter syndrome disproportionately affect women, particularly non-white women, people from the LGBTQ community and others from under-represented backgrounds.
Brian Daniel Norton, a psychotherapist and executive coach in New York has said “When you experience systemic oppression or are directly or indirectly told your whole life that you are less-than or undeserving of success and you begin to achieve things in a way that goes against a long-standing narrative in the mind, imposter syndrome will occur.”
What are some of the signs of imposter syndrome?
You feel you’ve got to where you have because of luck
You often doubt yourself - your ability, decisions and your value
You negatively compare yourself to others
Overachieving - to prove you’re worthy of taking up space in the world
Being really hard on yourself if something goes wrong
Feeling like you’re going to be found out for being a fraud
So now you know the signs, here are 5 tips for overcoming imposter syndrome:
1. What would you tell a friend?
The way we talk to ourselves is often so harsh and we’d be horrified if we talked the same way to a friend who was going through the same experience. So, imagine your friend told you they were doubting themselves, felt they didn’t have much value in the workplace and have got by through luck. What would you say to them? Be your own best pal and make sure you try to mirror that advice for yourself. Imagine being with your friend and listing all the negatives you feel about yourself to them, as if that’s how you feel about them. If it makes you cringe, think twice about saying it to yourself.
2. Focus on the facts
Separate fact from fiction. You feel you’re not qualified, but do you have a relevant qualification, degree, award? You got a job through luck - but what feedback did you get when you were offered the job? Probably not “you got lucky today, you’ve got the job!”
3. List the positives
Make a list of your achievements, qualifications, things that you like about yourself and keep adding to it. If you achieve something at work and feel good, write it down. When you feel imposter syndrome creeping in, take a look at this list and remind yourself of everything you’ve achieved!
4. Be inspired by people similar to you - you’re not alone
Imposter syndrome can feel like a lonely place and you can often feel reassured and even inspired to talk to other people about it. I know that’s how I feel when speaking to other women of colour about this issue. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling like this, take comfort in the fact that many inspiring women like Michelle Obama and Michaela Cole have been through it too.
5. Talk it through with a mentor!
Sometimes, we need some outside help or another perspective. Imposter syndrome is exactly the kind of thing you can work through with a mentor.
