How to approach your first mentoring session

Karmjit shares her thoughts on how to approach your first mentoring session.

Nailing your first mentoring session.

So, you’ve found a mentor / mentee and are ready for your first meeting. How do you make sure you make the most of this first discussion to set the tone of what will hopefully be a great professional relationship for both of you?

Whether you’re the mentor or the mentor, here are three key principles to follow for your first meeting:

Be prepared

As the mentee, you will have hopefully laid the groundwork during your chemistry call and your mentor should have a copy of your CV. Agree on an informal agenda and brief description of what you want to get from the session. It goes without saying but be prompt. It’s a sign of respect and that you’re both taking this seriously. If you’re the mentee, while this isn’t a job interview, it is similar in that you want to make a good impression so that your mentor, who will probably be pretty busy outside of your sessions, wants to invest time in you. Go to the meeting with enthusiasm, clear goals and a commitment to follow through on actions that come from the discussion. Having clear goals and an agenda will help both of you keep focus in the session. It’s great when mentors and mentees end up having a lot in common and can talk about anything and everything, and taking some conversational detours is important for building good chemistry, but it’s also important to make sure the relationship focuses on what you both agreed on.

Be open and honest

You should both be prepared to ask questions of one another – getting to know each other will be a key element of the relationship going forward. If you’re the mentee, try to be as forthcoming and open as possible so your mentor can understand you better – you don’t need to share your whole life story, but, it’s ok to be share some of your fears and insecurities, particularly if this is what might have been holding you back from reaching some of your goals.

This may not come up in your first session, but it’s important for both of you to be able to take on constructive feedback, even encourage it. Some advice / reflections on both sides of the relationship may hit a nerve and it’s natural to be defensive at times. But take time to reflect and see how you can act on advice that you might find challenging to take forward. This is an important step to securing mutual trust and cementing the relationship.

Be prepared to follow up

While you can agree on who does what in terms of follow up and admin related to your mentoring relationship, we suggest that as the mentee, you follow up within 24 hours if you can with a brief note – saying thank you and spelling out the next steps you have agreed on. You should agree on your next meeting date during your session or swiftly after. As the mentor, if you have agreed on any actions such as introductions to any contacts, checking a CV, cover letter, for example, try to be prompt and transparent with carrying out your actions and how much time you can commit. Finally, respect each other’s boundaries. Outside of your mentoring sessions, mentors (and mentees!) will probably have limited time to give support and respond to requests, so keep things manageable and realistic with your timeframes and expectations outside of your agreed time together.

And, it should go without saying, but enjoy your first session! This will hopefully be the start of a great professional relationship for you and we hope you feel inspired and motivated right from that first session.

Good luck!