Navigating career envy: 6 tips
Dealing with envy
We help you navigate those pangs of career envy and help turn it into something productive to help you achieve your goals.
Envy vs jealousy
While envy and jealousy might sound synonymous, there are some distinctions.
Envy is about wanting something that someone else has whereas jealousy relates to feeling threatened and worried that you will lose something to someone else. Jealousy can often come with negative feelings of resentment toward another person but envy prompts a mix of feelings within yourself, rather than directed at someone else. This can sound like “why can’t I work hard enough to get the job”, “why am I not good enough to earn that salary”, and “seeing other people thrive is giving me a feeling of discontent in my own life”.
So what can we do about it? Here are our top 6 tips to navigate career envy:
Accept that it’s normal
Don’t beat yourself up about feeling envious, or think it makes you a bad person - in an age of constant comparison, social media and self-promotion, we know so much more about other people’s careers than we used to - it can be hard to avoid. It’s better to notice it rather than ignore it and explore what’s making you feel this way.
2. Identify the source
When you get that pang of envy looking at someone’s LinkedIn or Instagram post, or after talking to someone about their promotion, ask yourself what’s prompting that feeling of envy. Focus on what you are envious of, not who.
It’s often not what you think it is. If you feel envious that someone got a new job, ask yourself is what is it about their job that you want. Does it come with higher pay, is it flexible working, is it the company they’re working for? Have they gone freelance and you want more autonomy over your job? A feeling of “I want that job” can quickly become “I need more flexibility” or “I should negotiate a pay rise in my job”.
This is also a good time to challenge societal standards of what your achievements should look like and when. Are you actually disappointed that you don’t have that certain job, your own home, a partner, baby - by a certain age? Women in particular are put under so much pressure to hit certain personal milestones, often by arbitrary ages that a patriarchal society has dictated. Ask yourself whether this pressure is coming from these external standards that you may not sign up for anyway.
3. Use envy as motivation
Envy can feel confusing because you can often feel admiration for the person you’re envious of. Use this thing or person as the start of a plan to identify the steps you need to take to get there yourself. This is something you could work through with a mentor or career coach.
4. Focus on what you can control
It’s unproductive to focus on factors you don’t have control over, so make a list of the things you can, and how you can make small changes to get to that thing that sparks envy in you when you see it elsewhere. This can stop envy from bleeding into jealousy. You can’t control someone else having something that you want, but you can almost certainly control some elements in your own life to also reach that achievement.
5. Make a list of your achievements
Envy often blinds us to our achievements. Counteract this by making a list of your past successes. This will help give perspective and highlight the significant strides you've already taken in your career.
6. Look beyond your career
Career paths unfold over decades, and progress is subjective. When feeling stuck, consider the broader picture. Your current job may provide stability for a newly purchased home or offer excellent annual leave for life-changing adventures. Understand that what seems like a career lag may be facilitating achievements elsewhere in your life.
We hope that by embracing these tips, you can transform envy into a catalyst for your career growth.
